A Christmas miracle-Inky the tripod

Flashback to several weeks ago:

I stayed up into the wee hours of each morning for about 2 weeks doing Internet research on what to expect when a cat gets a leg amputated. I looked everywhere for information on what to be ready for, what survival rates were for older cats, for hind legs, what recuperation would be like, what life after would be like , general costs and on and on. Being terribly sensitive to pain, suffering & anthropomorphism I knew I had to brace myself against  the aspect that would trigger that-I looked for visuals so I would have some idea of what amputation might look like. I wanted to avoid crying  at the vets during that first post op visit  & visual reference took the sting out of that sight. 

In the end  I found bits and pieces that could be put together to form and idea  but no real , informative tell all. I took what I found and added it up to what sounded like good odds. Since euthanasia was the only other option , good odds were better than none. 

I would have had a harder time had this been my cat. I would have been heart broken, heart sick and worried in a way that one is not when you are lucky enough to be once removed. I simply did the research and passed on the info. & my parents did the hard part. The decision making. 

At that moment when you go for it, pass that point of no return, you place your faith in the vet and God and in all that you have read. You walk out the door and wait for a phone call that says the operation is over and then the next step begins. You summon up more faith and face the new reality. A missing leg. A line of sewn together flesh , blood, the smell that instantly revives all old memories of sick and dying pets. You will yourself to look past all that, think past all that & focus on the face, the eyes, what remains , is familiar and is whole. 

I began praying again like I had not in many years. Partly you pray that you did the right thing and that this current, present suffering will lead to a new life not a slow death. I looked for that light we all search for when in such tunnels. The landmarks appear and you cling to them. He eats. He sleeps. He responds to us with love and relief not fear and pain. 

Each night I thanked God for the good as I tallied the worrisome. Still bleeding. But the articles said that would happen , you reason with yourself, glad some other poor soul went before you to lead the way. 

The stitches are not yet out but the radar collar that protected them came off today. We can now look at the bare patch, where the leg was and not cringe with sympathetic pain that can be unbearable if you let it. The world still turns upside down every now and again: You realize you can not judge if he is gaining weight as the  lost leg  equals lost weight . How much does a leg weigh anyway...I do not want to know. 

The last 2 nights I  have felt the turning of a corner. Is he out of the woods yet? He seems not just to be improving but returning to "normal" -as normal as losing a limb will ever be. And we all marvel at one sight-turned over onto his healing wound he looks like his old self, as if his lost leg is there-hiding underneath. He looks whole, for a moment. 

I would not ever wish this one anyone. I would love to pretend we live in a world where animals do not get hurt intentionally or accidentally, requiring amputation. But this will happen to someone else's beloved pet and all I can say is what those articles did say: you will be amazed/ they will recover/ this is survivable and preferable to that other option. 

It seems many chose euthanasia when faced with amputation. I understand. One vet actually wrote an open letter hoping to encourage people to take that leap of faith. It is one of the things that lingers on my mind as all of this fades. You can read it here. 

Other things I bookmarked on those cold dark nights: 

Basic information  that advises well when deciding to attempt saving the limb first. 

An option for those heavy and cumbersome radar dishes. 

First person account. Another one with solid advice mixed in. An upbeat version here. 

Some evidence you'll want to convince you. 

More evidence and some after care info. 

Just stacking the deck with this. And this. 

Web sites for handicapped dogs and cats. There is more info. out there on tripod dogs than cats & while the process is not necessarily transferable , reading the basic info. can be helpful and enlightening. Maybe one day someone will , sadly, find themselves in our shoes. I hope this helps you to make wise decisions that are hard. I hope some of the above serves to light the way & give hope and faith.